|
The Dangers of Bullying –
What we ALL should know
February 2008
Every day thousands of
children wake up and are afraid to go to school. Not
because they haven’t completed their homework, nor are
they nervous to take a test, but because they are
fearful of bullying.
Bullying is rapidly becoming one of the leading concerns
within schools and for law enforcement agencies.
Bullying can lead to poor grades, school violence and
teen suicide. The Novi Police Department, in
partnership with all area schools, is dedicated to
providing a safe, vibrant and enjoyable learning
environment for all students.
Bullying
occurs when a person is picked on repeatedly by an
individual or group perceived with more power; either in
terms of physical strength or social status.
It is the on-going harassment from
one peer to another resulting in mental, physical and/or
psychological pain. Bullying can be physical or
verbal. Boys tend to use more physical elements when
bullying and girls tend to be more verbal. Bullying can
occur anywhere; on the bus, in the neighborhood, before
or after school, in the cafeteria or hallway, or on a
computer (Cyber bullying).
Cyber
bullying can be defined as the use of technology to
degrade, harass or humiliate another person or group of
people. Cyber bullying can be done through the
internet, text messaging, chat rooms and personal web
sites via My Space, Facebook and similar online message
boards. It is important for parents and guardians to be
aware of what their children are doing on the computer
and to know who their children are communicating with
and what they are saying. Parental awareness is the
first step in preventing Cyber bullying.
Bullying can range from
hitting, shoving, name-calling, and threats to mocking
others. It also can involve extorting money and prized
possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and
spreading rumors about them.
Bullies choose their victims
for two main reasons – appearance and social status.
Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in,
maybe because of how they look, how they act, their race
or religion, their size, or their sexual orientation.
Kids bully for a variety of
reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a
victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically
weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way —
to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although
some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims,
this is not always the case.
Sometimes kids torment others
because that's the way they have been treated. They may
think their behavior is normal because they come from
backgrounds where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts,
or calls names. Some popular TV shows even seem to
promote meanness — people are "voted off," shunned, or
ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.
A bully
likes attention and appears confident with high self
esteem, when actually they are most likely extremely
insecure. They may be physically aggressive,
pro-violence, easily angered and impulsive. A bully
likes to dominate and have power over people. Bullies
are more likely to dislike others, perform poorly
academically, instigate fights, and are more prone to be
problematic in school.
A
recent study showed that boys who are school bullies in
grades six through nine had at least one criminal
conviction by age 24.
Anyone
can be a victim of bullying. As a parent or educator,
there are warning signs to look for:
-
Sudden
downward change in a child’s school performance
-
A sudden
change in friendship groups
-
School
absenteeism
-
The loss of
school or personal items (more so than normal)
-
Unexplained
bruises or torn clothing that occurs during school hours
If you
suspect a child is a victim of bullying, it’s important
to maintain open lines of communication and contact
school officials.
It may be
tempting to tell the child to fight back;
however,
it's important to advise children not to respond to
bullying by fighting or bullying back. This improper
form of retaliation can quickly escalate into violence,
trouble, and someone getting hurt. Instead, it's best to
walk away from the situation, hang out with others, and
tell an adult.
Encourage children to:
-
Try to always avoid the bully and use
the “buddy” system.
-
Control his/her anger – walk away
from the presence of a bully.
-
Tell an adult, albeit a parent,
teacher or school administrator.
-
Share openly with others. Tell
someone you trust, such as a counselor, teacher,
parent, or friend.
As responsible parents or guardians, you can lessen the
impact of bullying. Encourage children to get together
with friends who build their confidence. Help him/her
meet playmates by joining clubs or sports programs and
find activities which help a child feel confident and
strong. Perhaps it's a self-defense class like martial
arts, a sports program such as soccer, or an arts
activity like dance.
Prevention through education is one of the best ways to
deter bullying before it begins. The Novi Police
Department has taken a pro active approach to preventing
bullying. Our Police Detectives and School Resource
Officer have attended anti-bullying training and
partnered with area schools to educate students about
bullying and how to deal with it as a victim.
Strong
partnerships between schools, law enforcement agencies
and parents are the key to stopping bullying. Together
we must stop the silence and raise awareness for this
rapidly growing concern in our society.
For
more information or to share a concern on bullying,
please contact the Novi Police Department at
248.348.7100 or at cityofnovi.org.
|
The Novi Information Network
